- The original translation doesn't make sense.
- "抽象化する" is more suitable for the translation of "abstractiong"
rather than "省く" ("omit").
- Make the translation more fluent.
- Uniform the translation of "Connection" to "コネクション".
- "確保" is more suitable for the translation of "ensure" rather than
"実現" ("realize").
- Make the translation more fluent.
- "oriented" was missing in the translation.
- "～の上で動作する" is more suitable for the translation of "over"
rather than "～の上で成り立つ" ("carry on").
- Uniform the translation of "Connection" to "コネクション".
- "確立" is more commonly used for the translation of "establish"
rather than "開始" ("start").
- "切断" is more commonly used for the translation of "terminate"
rather than "解除" ("cancel").
- The word "handshake" is not translated.
- "下位" is more commonly used for the translation of "lower-level"
rather than "低級" (lower-class).
- "依存" (rely/addiction) is misleading word in this context, and
"～の上で" ("based on") is more suitable.
- "アプリケーション層" is more commonly used for the translation of
"application layer".
SATO Yusuke